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Angels and Pastries

Updated: Jan 8, 2022

You poor earth ANGELS!

Oh my goodness,

I’m so sorry if you are an earth angel.

If you are, you haven’t slept in 25 years. Your motto is SELF SACRIFICE, so you’ve never been to a spa. You listen to everyone’s problems and don’t make time to READ because you’re saving lives.

So, listen up TROLLS AND GNOMES! You should be rested after your 6 hour nap.

Anyhoo, earth angels are those who enter a room and FEEL EVERYONE’S ENERGY, especially people who are crabby-pants. Angels have round, dewy eyes, heart shaped lips, and love the babies! But in reality, they love their food more.

PASTRIES are their HAPPINESS, so give them a break. When sitting down to five Creme Dunkers at a time, they are trying to protect themselves from all of your negative SCHMUTZ.

So don’t bother telling them you’re having a bad day, they’re way ahead. They’ve already ABSORBED your yucky poo energy and they’ll even ask for more.

And angels are unaware of their wings. They might wonder why their back is sore, their heart feels pain, or why they have feathers up their nose. It’s because of these god-given wings.

If they’re taking on too much, the feathers can get heavy from dragging the ground, dusty and gray. But angels don’t mind their wings acting like street cleaners, tissues and pillows. It’s their purpose to HELP. Deep down they really want to FIX us, it’s what they do.

And, God bless these angels, they have no boundaries.

They never say, “NO.”

Is your significant other an earth angel? Try this out:

“Honey, will you make me homemade mac and cheese at 3 a.m? And after getting home from your emergency-worker job, take our 29 children under the age of 6 on a hike, and to the zoo, the carnival, the fair, and the crowded water park? Every day for the next 23 years? And give me a nightly deep tissue massage?

It’s a no-brainer. The angel responds, “Yes, sweet heart, I LOVE YOU. I’m blessed to have the opportunity to be sleep deprived so that I may serve you. I LOVE helping you. Will you please pass me the donuts?”


Are you an angel?

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